With a grain of salt...

What’s in a year? Why do we inflate it with all our hate? At least the Ancient Greeks had a goat and attached their woes and so forth to it, ineffectively creating a “Scape goat.” But why do so many people via facebook have to comment on how terrible the past/previous year was. I guess I always get a little curious about how people reflect in the year. You know, the “Oh 2010 is so bad” and “2011 should be so better.” I think that sometimes people put too much of the blame onto situations that have happened, overshading the good stuff. I had my ups and downs in 2010, but all in all it was a good year. I'm actually thankful that I can look back and laugh at what happened.
Exhibit A – my last minute assignment panics. Yes, I am the first to admit that despite being aware that I had an assignment due for 1, 2 and 3 I finished it the night before. But I like the stress. I live for it! It’s an adrenaline rush! The panic – will I finish in time? Have I saved it? What time is it? And voila! That last minute panic mode sends my mind into overdrive producing some of the best work I have produced. Just imagine if I really applied myself. I hated the situation, at the time, and kept mentally shouting at myself for being an idiot for leaving it late. I mean 10pm at night late. The sad thing was that I would give myself a 100 word an hour limit while I watched Flashforward. How sad. How hilariously sad. Suffice to say I passed uni! Last semester I got 3 credits and a distinction. Thank goodness for my photographic memory!
Exhibit B – My Death and Culture (Yes it was a unit at uni and yes I know it has a morbid name) speech. An awesome friend, Lauren, and I had to do a debate on “The funeral industry is completely about profit” with us being the negative team. It’s so hard to write a negative opinion on something that you don’t agree with. Lauren and I did a heap of research and the affirmative team had already met up a few times to discussion their position and strategy. Hello panic mode! Lauren and I managed to pull it together. We were supposed to be 7 minutes and each time I timed myself it came to a total of 8 minutes. Yikes!
Exhibit C – Babysitting my sister’s kids I took my 8 year old nephew and 6 year old niece to the park. After he chucked a hissy-fit he ran off. I walked after him, after collecting all our gear from the park. If you have been to the park in Hurstville on Dora Street near the oval, you will know that the fence around the oval blocks any view of the side street. So I hear tires screeching before I reached the side street and, with someone who is anxious as I, I thought for sure that he was he was kidnapped. I rounded the corner to the street as fast as I could and he wasn’t there! I looked up every frikin tree along the way (as he likes to climb them) and he wasn’t in them. I started shouting his name frantically, with my niece right next to me. I thought for sure he was gone. I knew that my eldest sister would kill me then resurrect me only to kill me again and again. I doubled back to the park as fast as I could and my niece shouted at me telling me he was at the park. He had run around the block or the oval I should say and right back to the park. I walked towards him – not knowing whether to smack his backside or cry. I started to cry. I called my sister and told her to scold him as I started crying. I think more so over the panic of the ordeal. Its something that happened to me in 2010 that I don’t hold against the year. It happened! But it doesn’t mean that the year was a complete toss-bag.
Exhibit D – The mounting of the anxiety, due to my coping methods sent me into overdrive. I have suffered from depression and learned to deal with it, but my old way of coping with life situations – by not dealing with them and holding them off for as long as I can before things start to go BOOM! – really affected me. I wasn’t looking at it as situations of anxiety until I really looked into it and finding coping methods. I got lightheaded like I was going to pass out; restless; hyperventilating; disorientated; etc; etc.
I think that we should assess every year. But don’t look back on it as something to forget or regret. We should live regret free lives and look forward to what is ahead. And STOP PLACING THE BLAME ON THE PAST YEAR!!! From my past experience with depression, its important to note that life is and will always have ups and downs. We shouldn’t be happy or mad all the time, but take each as it goes and with a grain of salt. And us Flavells, well I think more so my Maternal Nana's Taylor family, have a knack for laughing as we look back at deplorable situations. I think they give us a positive aspect on the past because there’s no point in mourning over spilt milk.
I know that I have New Year’s resolutions, which many people seem more than happy to be cynical about but I fulfilled last year’s one. It made me so proud! I got my learner’s license (Yes at the last minute! In December). So this year, I will embrace what the year has installed for me and work towards the goals that I want to achieve. Carpe Diem! Well, for a lady of the night (Meaning I am nocturnal by nature and not a Hooker) Carpe Noctem!


Kakite ano